Welcome to the Robot Prophets, where we predict the future with 100% certainty!

We have a 100% accurate track record of being completely wrong. Come for the spectacle, stay for the hilarity.

Our team of experts (okay, it's just a guy in a basement with a Magic 8-Ball) use advanced techniques like "tossing a coin" and "making stuff up" to predict the future. Don't ask us how it works, just trust us.

Our services include: Fortune Cookie Reading - We'll read the fortunes from the bottom of a cookie to predict your future. Robot Rap Battles - Our team of robotic MCs will battle each other for the title of Supreme Robot Prophets. Mad Libs Reading - We'll fill in the blanks with ridiculous words to predict your future in a way that's almost, kinda, sorta accurate.